one second: IM GOING TO DIE
the next second: nvm I’m okay just very sad and kinda hungry
what the hell . mood swings what the FUCk
feel weirdly better and resigned to everything all of a sudden what’s happening
at least the screaming stopped but now I feel so guilty. I just dumped a whole year of progress in the garbage….
wow I feel not better at all why did I do that
I’m fucked up and scared off my ass
I found the blade I hid from myself I don’t know what to do someone is screaming at me
"alternatives to #self harm : draw the cuts but don’t make them" YOU DONT UNDERSTnd THEYRE SCREAMING THEY WANT BLOOD
most of my #self harm scars have faded a lot and they just blend in with my stretch marks now, and maybe thats good but it stresses me out so bad. i honestly need to feel like that part of my life was real and its all just going away???? its disorienting and scary and i want the scars back.