Gothicdog's personal dumping ground for bad brain feels. Please like my posts if you read them
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a few weeks ago i was in a clothing store and i started rubbing one of the sweaters bc the texture was really really nice and felt good and some lady looked at me so weird and i was like “okay”

im tyring to be less ashamed of stimming in public but then i get one weird look and im out lmao nt ppl ruin everying 

ANOTther thing about my ex that makes me wanna die is that shortly after we broke up for the last time she started dating my sibling ( i cant figure out if it was a reboudn thing, if it was to make me mad, or if it was bc she thought one twin was the same thing as the other but all of them suck) and she did the same thin g to milo too. and i feel like thats my fault too i didnt warn  milo about her because i didnt think she was abusive at the time i thought i was the one who was doing the hurting and theres some other wierd way that im convinced that was my fault but i cant figure out why. and like the pain of her abuse towards me mixed with feel ling like i caused someone else to get the same treatment is so fucking horrible 

hey punkruinedthissoul you didnt acknowledge the last time i called u out so just another reminder dont fucking reblog my posts 

my brain is a really big mess and i do not like that 

mood swings, fear of abandonment, reckless/self endagering behavior, paranoia, etc. those are all stuff i have and common symptoms of bpd

ive been looking into bpd lately and i think i need to do more research but i definitely fit the description 

idk im a negative person and im so intensely paranoid about people leaving me. i need to stop being so clingy but whenever i get a sort of close relationship with someone i feel like if i dont talk to that person every day and show them that im a good person to have around they’ll go away 

i dont have the energy to interact with people these days and its bumming me out bc i feel like all the friends ive started to make are going to just slip away 

i want to say i hate my ex but every time i try to i feel so guilty and i feel like im goging to cause  a lot of terrible things to happen just by thinking it